Fergie and Jesus

My favorite movie of all times is Step Brothers. I watch it over and over while doing cardio. I can probably reiterate every vulgar line. What a skill, huh? I wont be so rude to quote my favorite repulsive lines. I was so tired this morning due to redline depletion (stimulants are key! lol.) I have never laughed so hard when I was so tired.

On another note, I don't understand why people get in the state of mind that they are doomed for life. It makes sense to me if you are not happy with your current state, to think, plan, and take action. Apparently I think different than some. I recently encountered a situation that I just couldn't grasp the reality of. Why, day after day, would you step into a place that is supposed to be your glory, with a piss-ass attitude. I am referring to a bodybuilder entering his place of sanity, the gym. When asked, they say, "Because if I leave, that's giving up, quitting." My response to that is bullshit. If a human has a passion, a burning fire deep within, he will find a way. WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY. If the gym is your worst enemy, why would you call yourself a bodybuilder? Are you trying to make your life a living hell? I'm not being completely heartless, I understand that we all have our days, weeks, and maybe even months. But if there's no effort to change the situation, well, all I can say is you reap what you sew. "I don't know that I can do it anymore." Then you CAN'T! Point blank. Get off your ass, stop pitying yourself, and step up to the plate. Get rid of the sorry ass attitude. Sorry ass people have sorry ass attitudes. Have some faith, believe in yourself, stop complaining. If there's a problem fix it and move on, conquer. On the other hand, if you're miserable and you don't believe in yourself, find another hobby. Because all bodybuilding is to you is a hobby. A passion is something that gives you chills, puts you in a state of euphoria where you're invincible to the world. No one or no thing can stop you from conquering. Back to the statement made of "because that's quitting." Stepping up to the front doors of the gym, seeing your reflection in the glass doors with the mentality of having an unsuccessful workout, and STILL walking in ....that's quitting. I'm smart enough to know if you start your workout with that mentality, you will end your workout soon as a failure. Turn around, go home, and don't come back until you're ready to do some damage. There's a difference between this situation and the situation of one that is tired and run down, dreading working out, but still coming into the gym with the attitude of success. You have it or you don't. There's no in-between. There WILL be stones in the road, and you WILL have bad days, but if you don't have the WILL to succeed then face it, bodybuilding is NOT for you. Move on.

Now, sorry for that but now you know a pet peeve of mine. I hope that one I encountered will read this. This is me being real. I'm not trying to hurt anyone or put anyone down but there comes a point when you need to make eye contact with youself in the mirror and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

I think I need to go now. LOL. I hope that you all have a great day and I will be in touch soon.

Love,
B

Short-term memory loss

Apparently I'm having a bout of short-term memory loss. I was driving home from getting my nails done and thought of something I wanted to say to you guys. Sorry. I have a bad memory anyways. I have no idea how I did so well in college. Maybe because I had no life and spent the life I did have in the library like a total nerd. So, I'm going to ramble a little here...

Training is SICK. Not in crazy weight terms but in this insane motivation kind-of-way that I have right now. When you train by yourself for sometime you get in the so called veiled groove. I started training with a friend about a month ago, helping her with her diet, as she helps me with motivation. Man, I wasn't realizing how plain, simple, and routine I was training. It makes me a little nauseous even thinking how many workouts I wasted. Since I have been dieting, it's like I have this indomitable will to conquer. It's crazy and I love it. On her page, she's lost about 12 pounds and is on the way to a hot bikini body!

I know you guys like to see "numbers," and you also know that I don't talk about them too much. Nothing crazy as I have posted before, but here's some numbers from my forth-set weight on back and legs. I strive for 10-12 reps, and no matter what I HAVE to get 8. Get 8 or don't do the weight :)

Dead-lifts (half-reps) - 315
Stiff-leg deads from the floor - 225
Squats (hams touching calves) - 275
Dumbell rows (single arm) - 100

Hope you enjoy reading that. I don't bank on weight, but more so accurate form and muscle performance. Although, I will say it feels good as hell to throw around some stout weight.

Plant Update (previous post): I don't like to throw out the F-bomb often, but f***! ....f***! ....f***! I'd post a picture of the "thing" but I'm too embarrassed. It's pretty sad that I can't keep the stupid thing alive. I mean, come on, how hard is it? My other plants are pretty and green! I'm not prejudice, I treat them all the same! I haven't taken it back to Lowe's just yet but I'm going to. And I don't want another one either!

OK, well, I have to get packing. I'm going to New York for a few days. You guys be good and the picture I posted was from Los Angeles, a few days after 2007 Nationals; Physique Art Photography, Mike Yurkovic.

18.5 weeks

Love you,
B

I want to be there

I didn't even know this was on the net. I came across it on YouTube and I've watched it about 50x. I've thought of the good and the bad and can not wait to be back on stage - I have to make a difference. 19.5 weeks. I wanted to share it with you and I hope you enjoy! 2007 Nationals, 2nd Place.



XOXO
B

Fun, exhausting, ARNOLD weekend

Hi!

I left out Thursday for the AC and as much fun as it was I am so glad to be home ...Well, kind of. I went with SPECIES to help out with the booth. This year was the 1st that I have actually worked at the AC as I usually just go for fun. And damn, those 3 days will tire you out quicker than pre-exhaustion workouts! I am trying to get caught up and back on track today, although I did cancel my 6am workout this morning :) I ate so much while I was there. I had an overload of protein bars and shakes! I bought the cutest workout clothes at the Expo! BiaBrazil and Equilibrium are my FAVORITE now :) I finally got to hang out with Colette and Dave this weekend. After all the emails during contest season, I finally meet the guys behind the computer taking my food away and telling me to do 10 more minutes of cardio!!! These 2 are great people and so fun to be around! I laughed all weekend. Especially when Romano and Dave were together. It was a blast. I also got to meet and hang out with HHH the wrestler. He is funny as well and pretty down to earth. When it was time for him to sign autographs, we just put our pics up and got out of the way... His fans were crazy. Why would you want Britt Miller's autograph when you can get HHH's!!!??? I met so many fans that I have got to know over the past years. Thank you guys for your support! I wouldn't be here without you! I was able to finally put faces with names that are part of the SPECIES team. Here is who was at the booth most the weekend ..Me, Colette, Dave(well, sometimes), Joel Goldburg, Kat Ramirez, Jen Cowan, PJ Braun, Guy Cisternino, Sean Andros, HHH, Arina Manta, the RX Radio crew, John Romano, Mavi Gioia, Roseanne Desmarais, Catherine Holland, Julieann Kulla, Melissa Dettwiller, Isabelle Turell, and Dena Westerfield. There are tons of pics from the entire weekend on www.rxmuscle.com. The trip home was a little sad and very tiring. My stomach was in knots the entire way home. I had a lot on my mind and needed some good sleep. It was about a 7 hour trip home with my layover in Detroit. I saw Yaxini in Detroit. She was sitting, eating a huge bag of Cheetos. I just had to laugh because I know that state of mind after a show. She placed 3rd and looked great as always. Debi Laszewski was amazing in 2nd, and Iris looked better than ever in 1st!!! Her new hair style does wonders! I went to the night show with My friend KD. We had 4th row seats!!! Thanks to Jay Cutler! Man, I was sitting there watching the women's routines and my eyes started to tear up. I'm telling you, this sport has a special place in my heart!! ...FO REALZ, lol :) I wanna be on that stage!

It's 80 degrees here in North Carolina today!!!! I had the air on last night and today I have the windows open. It's soooo nice. I've been unpacking and cleaning up around here today. I should really be outside doing "something" to this grassless-red-mud-yard of mine! Damn! I decided "I" am not messing with it this year. My brother and I did the entire 9 yard buku of events on it last year and yielded exactly what I said a second ago ...A MUDDY HELL HOLE! Guess I should call the yard guy to come out sometime this week. We may have some more bad weather soon so maybe I should wait. Ya, I'll wait considering it snowed 6 inches last week :) My luck, hell will freeze over as soon as I do it. I love plants! I'm not a huge flower girl, but the rich green color of plants makes me happy. They are all over my house. I am not exactly the best plant-mom. They die a lot but I am getting better! I have this cool tree in my living room that I got from Lowe's. The trunk is braided. I can't remember what it's called but I came home from the Arnold last night and the darn thing had leaves lying everywhere on the floor! It was expensive so if it dies then I'm taking it back!! It has a year warranty. My brother had this palm tree he got from Lowe's that had a BAD life. It was always depleted and sickly looking no matter what you did to it. It had been about a year since he bought it so he drug the pitiful thing back and they gave him a new one. I was like why didn't you do that 364 days ago??, it looked like he pulled it out the trash! I laughed so hard every time I saw that ugly thing. I also left my used shaker cup (AKA shakacup for those of Species, lol) in the sink while I was gone and it was the worst smell in the world when I opened it!!!

Anyways, today is DAY.1 of my way to the USA's! HELL YA! I'm excited about my prep and training this year. It's gonna be amazing. I can already feel it. Of course we all have bumps in the road but I'll worry about those when I get to them. I trained arms today and the intensity was refreshing. I'm a little bit too excited about this year ...I'm already so anxious about everything! Or maybe I just drank too much of that extreme Redline! Yea yea, I know they're not good for ya but I drink them religiously ...I'm not perfect :)

By the way, I can finally get my hair in a cute little ponytail!! I've been waiting forever for this!! I tried a few weeks ago but it wasn't quite long enough... looked so ghetto... but now, it's hot! :) I'm also trying to stay away from acrylic nails!! They have ruined my real nails for years now! But I still insisted on getting them! So I'm trying to grow mine to look nice and pretty. I'm having fun with bright colored nail polish too. I bought some neon pink, black, and of all colors, yellow, today. i grilled out today too. Food is weighed, put in containers, and ready to eat for about a week. I hate cooking every day when I'm dieting. I usually prepare a weeks worth at a time.

Alrighty, I gots to go pick up Deezy from my Dad's. He kept her while I was gone. I think I'll take her by the park on the way home. Here she is in the snow last week. Isn't she cute?? I love 'er to death :)


I love you guys and I'm going to keep you updated more often than in the past. Trying for 2-3x a week - So we'll see :)

b :)